I've been looking backwards instead of forwards...

[Archie Star- She's Smiling 'Cause I'm So Money]

I've found that I am a terribly unreliable blogger. Being a writer by nature, one would think that I'd find it unnaturally simple to type out a few lines a day, even if they are utter nonsense. Nevertheless, every blog I've ever started eventually falls to neglect.

I'm not the sort of person that can keep things to themself. I cant possibly hold anything in. Needless to say, this particular tidbit has gotten me into trouble. I've always been quick to trust. I've tried to keep countless diaries, but seeing as I'm a fiction writer instictively with a sick tendancy to lean upon bravado and poetics, I was always writing for an audience that wouldnt ever come.

The point of blogs, I've realized, is to say whatever it is you need to say in order for everyone to read it. Not that I personally find my life to be of any interest, and neither will you. After reading every single post on the well known blog I Wrote This For You at least three times, I came to accept that some people are meant to be heard, and others are meant to mutter to themselves.

The point I'm trying to reach is this: Life is hard sometimes, and things change. Somehow, I have to learn to deal with that. I have a wonderful life, with a family that would be there no matter what, the best friend I could ask for, and a boyfriend who loves me unconditionally. I look at what I have now, and I know that everything that led up to this point doesnt mean a thing to me now. All the pain I endured....the pain I put myself through....is in the past now.

Every day is a second chance, and all I can do is take it, and make the most of it.