She says she's thinking of jumping...she says she's tired of life...

[Counting Crows- Round Here]

I told myself I was going to post every single day. I guess I just missed it by an hour. Go figure.

Today was an uneventful sort of day. I believe I've been needing that something fierce. Mostly I posted a ton of writing on protagonize. [www.protagonize.com/author/LiesAndCatchyHooks]. Aside from that, I spent some time with Nana and G-dog, the greatest people in the world, and after a horrendous three-day separation, I got to see Charlie.

On my last blog, I made out a convienent little cast list, explaining in full detail who each and every person in my life was. Now I've come to realize that, that isnt for you to know. And if you're really curioous, you'll keep on reading. After all, isnt this whole thing just one big revelation? One crystal glass look into my life?

Lately I've been restless. I keep telling myself that I should learn to settle down, but I cant help but wonder what life has in store for me next. I'm awaiting some sort of spontaneous excitement. Something new to sweep me off my feet.

PS, to those that know me well enough.... The writer's block has been torn to shreds.

Ah, well. It's a new day, and I should be in bed, since I'm off to my grandparents for lunch tomorrow, and going out to dinner with Charles. Still, I sincerely doubt my head will hit that pillow anytime soon.

I want you to know something, though. A lil side note from yours truly to the one and only you. Life is filled with mistake, regret, heartache. But look past the thorns. Someday the roses will bloom.

I've been looking backwards instead of forwards...

[Archie Star- She's Smiling 'Cause I'm So Money]

I've found that I am a terribly unreliable blogger. Being a writer by nature, one would think that I'd find it unnaturally simple to type out a few lines a day, even if they are utter nonsense. Nevertheless, every blog I've ever started eventually falls to neglect.

I'm not the sort of person that can keep things to themself. I cant possibly hold anything in. Needless to say, this particular tidbit has gotten me into trouble. I've always been quick to trust. I've tried to keep countless diaries, but seeing as I'm a fiction writer instictively with a sick tendancy to lean upon bravado and poetics, I was always writing for an audience that wouldnt ever come.

The point of blogs, I've realized, is to say whatever it is you need to say in order for everyone to read it. Not that I personally find my life to be of any interest, and neither will you. After reading every single post on the well known blog I Wrote This For You at least three times, I came to accept that some people are meant to be heard, and others are meant to mutter to themselves.

The point I'm trying to reach is this: Life is hard sometimes, and things change. Somehow, I have to learn to deal with that. I have a wonderful life, with a family that would be there no matter what, the best friend I could ask for, and a boyfriend who loves me unconditionally. I look at what I have now, and I know that everything that led up to this point doesnt mean a thing to me now. All the pain I endured....the pain I put myself through....is in the past now.

Every day is a second chance, and all I can do is take it, and make the most of it.